To say this post is overdue would be a HUGE understatement. This blog needs some serious sprucing up, and honestly it eats at me everyday. I feel like there is a voice in my head every second of every day saying, "you better blog this picture or that story or your computer will crash, hard drive will be destroyed and you will have nothing to show for these memories!" So here I am jumping in and starting from the beginning about 6 weeks or 6 months late. For a while until I get caught up I am going to be jumping from past to present and see how jumbled I can get it. I will post the date of what I am posting about so it's a little easier to follow. I want to reiterate that while I blog as though I have a thousand readers I am very aware that there may only be two hits a day on my blog, myself and well I am hopeful that there will be at least one other reader, grandma hope you are reading :)
Also I want to state that there will be run on sentences, typos, and some of those sentences that you read over and over again thinking that a second or third time around it will make sense- it wont! I write like I talk and good Lord don't get me started on how I talk, its a mess!!! Especially when I am trying to catch up on the craziest past couple months I have ever had, it just may be a little bit harry. So just know I have never claimed to be a writer in any sense of the word, this truly is me trying to be my most authentic self, typos, run ons and all! Oh and if there is someone reading this who knows where to put a comma please do let me know. I have struggled all my life trying to figure out exactly where that little thing goes and so I stick it everywhere, just-to-be sure!!!! :) (oh and the smiley face, that's me laughing at myself bc of course everything I say is super funny in my head :) )
Okay let's get started with the story of my little nuggy, and one of the happiest fairy tales ever told...
It all began Tuesday July 5th when this OH so pregnant lady started having contractions at about 2pm at work. I thought for sure by 7pm that night, after we had stopped at Chad and Jo Jo's to get the birthing ball and had the you know you guys are going to the hospital tonight talk, that this was it, baby Livy girl was coming into this world to meet her momma and daddy. Eight o clock comes and goes and I am still having contractions every 3 min apart, I decide it's time to call the doc. I pick up the phone, let it ring twice and hang up. As much as I didn't want to admit it something in my gut told me to wait just a few more hours to make sure that this was the real thing. I figured if I can't fall asleep then by ten I will just go to the hospital. Well 3am rolls around and I realize I fell asleep so contractions must not be so bad, thus I must not be in labor...wah wah... major MAJOR disappointment. So from Wednesday to Sunday I felt totally fine, in fact other than being 33lbs heavier, totally swollen, and emotional beyond words, I felt great!!! D and I decided since most of our arguments were happening at 11pm while I was arguing that he stole my 9th pillow and was hogging the bed, that we should set up our plush air mattress in the living room and he could sleep on the couch right next to me so that maybe, just maybe I could get some sleep. Ended up being the best two nights sleep I had had in a long time, and probably will have in for a long time! We ended up doing nothing all weekend. Watched a gazillion movies, ate suuuuper healthy food like old fashion glazed doughnuts, and did every single thing on my midwife's list of things to do to make baby come ;) It was the most relaxing, non productive weekend ever and now in hind sight (sp) I realize it is exactly what me, d, and baby needed to get ready for what was in store. So amidst the 25 calls and texts I had asking if I had had contractions and if I felt like I was going to go into labor, I felt nothing, totally normal and I even started texting people that baby was never coming (although I did still have two weeks till my due date). I should also mention that the previous Wednesday July 6th after my day where I swore I was in labor, I had a Dr. appt and was told I was dilated to a 2 and 80% effaced. One of my midwives even went as far as to say that the way I was feeling between the cramping and excessive bowel movements, braxton hicks etc, that she would see me at the hospital probably in the next 48 hours. Needless to say she is a wonderful woman but was so very wrong!
Sunday morning I woke up feeling totally fine physically but so out of sorts emotionally, I felt discontent and restless in the deepest parts of my soul. I had breakfast with D and explained how I was feeling to which he immediately suggested I spend some alone time with the Lord and get reconnected. So he went to work with his dad and I spent 6 straight hours with the God praying worshipping and just reveling in how much he loves me, physically feeling the holy spirit and just basking in his grace. It really was the most beautiful date I had had with Jesus in waaaay too long! But while I was loving on my saviour and soothing my unborn child with my favorite Bethany Dillon songs, I was having major contractions. Yep, those darn things came back about 2pm 4-5 min apart and you better believe I didn't tell a soul! I mean after what I went through the week before, I decided the baby would have to be crowning before I told anyone I was in labor. haha. I kid, but that is how I felt so I decided that I would wait it out and not even tell D until I felt like it was worth mentioning. We had plans to meet at the Indians game where we would meet up with my fam @ 630pm. About an hour before leaving I had casually mentioned to D that I had been having contractions and that I may or may not be safe to drive. I told him just in case he got a call from me on the side of the road stating that I could not drive and was in fact in labor ;) I had the most amazing final hour in my quiet baby-less house. I sat with the shades closed by a fan straightening my hair on the birthing ball singing Bethany Dillons Hallelujah (sp) at the top of my lungs. I imagined that my little angel baby could hear those sweet words I was singing and she would feel the Lords love and her mommy's love for her; that she would feel peace if it was in fact time for her to make her way into this world. I will never forget that day especially that moment as long as I live. In fact I think that entire glorious day was the workings of my heavenly father. He orchestrated every song on my pandora, every verse I read, prayer I spoke, and every sweet whisper I said to my baby girl as she was savoring her final moments cozy in my tummy. The Lord gifted me with that day and I will never forget it.
The rest was a whirlwind of crazy events. Driving was probably not the best idea as I seemed to tap the gas a little harder with every contraction. But I made it safely, met Derek in the parking lot and decided due to my challenges standing up at this point that it was probably best to call the on call Dr. and let him know what was up. The doc told me quite frankly that I should be at the hospital and should have called hours ago. So I went in thanked mom and dad for the tickets took a few pics (see below), ate some of stinkerman's cotton candy and decided we should head to Sacred Heart. The funniest part is that on the way out of the stadium everyone kept looking and pointing at my belly and asking me when I was going to have the baby, to which I would reply, "well right now actually!" They all screamed with excitement and wished me luck... ugh, have I mentioned how magical every moment of this day was?!?! I mean as I type this I have the biggest grin on my face thinking about the joy I felt on this day. I digress.
So we arrive at the hospital head to triage a place i know all to well due to a little scare at 33 weeks where I discovered $400 later that dehydration can cause contractions that can cause you to think you are in labor. sweeeeeeeeet! They check me and let me know that NOTHING has changed since Wednesday's appt that I am still a 2 and 80% but according to the screen I am definitely having contractions. She instructed me and D to go walk the halls for an hour while making sure to stop at every contraction, lean up against the wall spread my legs, open my hips, and rock back and forth, something that ended up making the contractions sooooo much worse. After an hour I am in tears, contracitons are literally no joke every minute and I am in 100x more pain that before. She checks me and I am barely a 3 and still 80%. However being the angel that she was instead of sending me home like she was "supposed to" you could tell she knew I wanted to stay... she saw my tears and knew if she sent me home I wouldn't leave but instead park my crying swollen butt outside triage up against the wall legs spread until that baby fell out. :) She said that while she should send me home she would let me take a bath in the jetted tub to see if that would help at all. At this point I am shocked at the pain I am enduring but even more shocked that the contractions were at this point LESS than a minute apart!!!! In the stark white, very sterile room with the very questionable bathtub, the pain jumped up a notch and I felt things I had not felt before, it was like the parting of the red sea, or so I would like to use as an analogy. I felt my hips and everything else start to open up (sorry for being so graphic) but it was amazing at that moment I started to really feel like my baby was coming. Not long after the nurse came in, I wiped the mascara tears from my eyes and she looks at us and said the sweetest words I'll ever hear, " Well I spoke to the Dr. Barrong, told him your stats and he said he wants you to stay, so we are going to admit you... little missy you aren't going home without your baby!" Ahhhh, as I type that I tear up... I can feel what I felt that moment, the excitement the pain, the joy, the overwhelming reality that this was it, it was time. From this point on everything went really fast. They brought me to my room, via wheelchair bc I couldn't walk. They check me and say I am 90% and a five almost six. They were shocked that in less than thirty minutes I had progressed that fast. Within that first hour in the room my water breaks and the nurse says, " Oh it looks like she pooped in the pool!" to which I reply, "Oh no are you serious did I poop on the table???" with tears streaming down my face at the thought that I hadn't even been pushing and I pooped. But no it was little baby girl, which then brought even more tears, I knew from Jo's birth with Addy that that could be dangerous so I cried and cried until another contraction came and boom my mind totally distracted. So within an hour of the bath, which was within two hours of arriving at the hospital, my water broke and the dr checked me and told me that I had gone from a 5 to an 8 and was fully effaced. I then lost my breath from progressing so fast and in turn Livy lost oxygen. They explained if I don't get my breath back that baby would be in danger, so I decided to get an epidural. When mister arrives I feel pressure like I have to push but can't bc the nurse said I couldn't. She told me and the doc that we had a 5 minute window to get the epidural in before it was too late, as it was looking like baby was on her way and in a hurry! After the most physically challenging 10 minutes of my life (hold still during an contraction???) I get the epidural and oxygen and feel a little bit of relief... for about 10 minutes. We all then quickly realize that although epidural hasn't totally set in it was time to push, sister was fully dilated and effaced and baby O was making her entrance. They had called the Dr. on call while I was getting my epidural, anticipating that this would happen. As I am pushing, while waiting for the doc to show up, I am having an out of body experience. my mom, connie, crystal, and jo jo and of course D were all in the room.(I had called everyone in the bath and told them to head down but that it would probably be a while, ha ha I had no idea what was coming!) But as I am pushing I see tears and hear in between screaming and crying, " oh my gosh heddie look at her, you can see her head, and she has long dark hair!!!!!!!!" So they are crying I am crying and oh did I mention my dad, the same guy who hates even seeing me in a swimsuit, was there right by my side crying as we look (via the mirror for me) at my little girls head of hair. Finally the nurse tells me to stop pushing until the Dr. arrives stating she didn't know that Olivia would come out so fast after just a few pushes. Dr. Barrong arrives along with the NICU just to make sure baby doesn't inhale the mechonium (sp) and I begin to push for real. I must mention that this pushing business was by far the most incredible, addicting, amazing, euphoric sensation I have ever felt in my life. I don't know which part of it or why I enjoyed it so much but pushing her out was truly epic! And with 15 minutes of pushing and many MANY happy tears I pushed our little miracle out into the world. At 2:40am Miss Olivia Faith Harty was born and Derek and I became two of the happiest most in love people in the world. Praise be to God she didn't inhale any yucky stuff and was completely healthy head to toe. She weighed 7lbs 4ounces and was 20.5 inches long. She was perfect and glorious and beautiful, and she was ours. It was at that moment I got a glimpse at the love our God feels for us, his children. I would be lying if I said I could fully grasp his love for us because the bible says he loves us SO much more than we love our own children, which is hard for my mind to fathom, but I have now, as of this moment begun to understand how he loves me.
The moments that followed were a bit of a blur, extremely euphoric but a little foggy. I will blog about those and the days following her birth tomorrow but I want to share some pics of this night...this perfect beginning to a beautiful life.
