I have never been very good at journaling. I have always been one of those people that journal for a day or two and get bored and quit. My desire for journaling and having a written record of my life has always been very strong but for some reason I just can't seem to get myself to sit down consistently everyday and log my daily thoughts and travels.One struggle I always had was that writing for a long period of time gave me hand cramps. Now as wimpy as that sounds, if you know me you know I love to talk and talk and talk... My journal entries are never short and sweet but more long and full of run on sentences :) I had always wished I could have some sort of audio journal where I could speak to my journal and the words would translate to print and magically end up on the pages. Unfortunately that invention hadn't been created so I gave up on journaling and waited till the technology of the Jetsons was a reality. I discovered the "blogging world" about two years ago and thought this would be PERFECT for me. I can type WAY faster than I can write, I dont need to keep up with the pokes, friend requests, and news feeds of facebook, and best of all I can post my thoughts, pictures AND video and have it printed out scrapbook style for me to have forever!!! I just can't figure out why it has taken me so long to actually START this blog. The only real think I can equate it to is that it kind of takes me forever to start any new thing. I dream about it, talk about it, plan it out in my mind and then at the very last minute I decide I better get started. This pattern is all to similar to how I navigated my way to school. Procrastination has been one of my things you could say. Something some people saw as a negative but something I thought I did really well . Hey I mean I made it through high school and college so this way of life didn't fail me.
I arrive here now at the "last minute" to try to capture my life before baby. I can't believe in the past 10 months I have started a new job, built a home ( partially with my own hands,) planned a wedding, got married, savored my last moments on earth with my precious nana and somehow managed to create a little life now currently doing turbo jam in my belly. I can't believe all of this has happened and I have no written or visual record of all the thougths emotions and memories that were a part of these past months, all I have is the memories in my head. I wondered recently what if something terrible happened to my mind and I no recollection of all of this. I wanted to have my story documented somehow so that Derek could sit by my bedside and read me the story of my life, just like the notebook :)
So this is it.... this is bits and pieces of my life documented for all or some or maybe no one to see. I haven't yet decided exactly at what capacity I will use this blog but these are the things I do know. Once I get comfortable enough to share I will invite my loved ones to this page so that I can share the things I may not always be able to update them on. I will be real and candid on this blog but may not share my every last personal detail for the privacy of myself and my loved ones. I will post pictures and videos of my life so that printing this blog into a scrapbook every year wont be a complete eye sore to look at; and of course also because I have accepted that I will most likely never be a true "scrapbooker." I need something a little less time consuming and a little less to do with arts and crafts. Although I love looking at others scrapbooks, and attending the scrapbooking parties (mostly for the food and socializing) I have never been too impressed with the pages I make and usually end up not finishing them. Haha in fact I am almost quite certain they end up in the same bin with my started but never finished journals :) I have made a promise to myself that I will allow me to just be me on this blog. Unlike the world of facebook and myspace I refuse to try to write perfectly and post only the best pictures of myself. I have promised to treat it like a real journal one with typos and run on sentences and pictures that may not be pleasing to the eye :) I will probably inundate this page and all my posts with a semi colon and half parenthesis to show that I am smiling, or laughing at what I just wrote. And I will use this blog as an outlet for me to share my joys, my pains and everything in between. But most of all I have decided to use this blog to share who I really am and my love for my life, my family and friends and my love and devotion to the Lord. Most of my journals were filled with entries where I would talk or pray to God. He fills my soul and brings a joy and peace that passes all understanding. He is my rock and my refuge and leaving him out of my blog, my journal, or my conversations would be posing as something I am not. Some days my blog will be short and sweet full of random thoughts while other days may be a prayer full of honesty and worship. I intend to look at this blog in 50 years and see who I was and who I have grown to be. I am very clueless as to what I am doing and how to make my blog look as cool as I want it to but I do know how to share my thoughts and I know how to type so I figure it's time to get started, so here goes nothing!
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